


Playing Possum

by RivetingFabrications



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Cute, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-05-31 11:43:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6468862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RivetingFabrications/pseuds/RivetingFabrications
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jason got turned into a cat. Tim's job is to care for him.</p><p>Alternative title: Jason and Tim get turned into cute animal husbands with lots of fluff and a dash of heartbreak.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally this wasn't supposed to go onto ao3 because it was a short drabble, but due to its popularity I've decided to continue and add a second installment later. Enjoy!

“You hate me, you know,” mumbles Tim sulkily. The kitten meows impatiently at him. Of course Jason would have been a tuxedo cat, with a splash of white fur by his wide blue eyes. “You always have.” Tim sets down a shallow bowl of milk down on the tiles, and the tiny ball of fur wanders over to taste it tentatively.

Tim kneels down, extending a cautious arm to stroke the cat’s head. He’s rewarded with a hiss and Jason backing away furiously. Groaning, Tim retracts his spurned hand, backs off. “I give up,” mutters Tim. “I just hope Zatanna figures out how to fix you soon.” He considers buying some catnip, but the thought of Jason going absolutely wild in his safehouse and tearing the rest of his already ruined and clawed couch to shambles is a troubling one. He hasn’t had the problem of cat hair getting onto everything yet though, which Tim considers everything short of a miracle.

He tries to work on some old case files to get to Babs, some research that the Titans need from some old archives Red Robin had easy access to, but he’s drained of all energy, what with trying to deal with an absolutely contrary kitten that adores making his life awful by clambering on top of the keys of his laptop.

“Why?” finally blurts out Tim in exasperation when the kitten refuses to be dislodged from the conquered keyboard. “Do your animal instincts just say ‘hey, let’s make this human’s life absolutely miserable?’ Is this just something ingrained in cat genetics? Do you still have something personal against me even as a feline? I don’t understand! You don’t even like _Selina_! Or Damian!” Huffing, he carefully sets aside the now unusable laptop on the coffee table, making sure Jason isn’t in danger of falling. He grunts, swinging his feet onto the sofa, staring blankly up at the ceiling.

Sometimes it gets lonely like this. And stuck with a prissy, spoiled kitten with twice Damian’s ego and vindictiveness isn’t making Tim’s day any better. He knows he could call Kon, or anyone, but they’re all busy, and he doesn’t want to disturb them.

“Jeez,” he mutters, closing his eyes. He hears Jason yawn adorably. “Fine, you win, I’ll take a nap too.”

He wakes up with the sun low in the sky, and a warm weight sitting on his chest. Tim cracks an eye open to see Jason curled into a tiny ball, settled comfortably. He wonders how he managed to clamber onto his chest without him even waking. Then again, it _is_ Jason.

“You know,” he mumbles drowsily. “You stabbed me where you’re sleeping right now. Don’t you think this is a little weird?” Jason’s ears prick, and feline eyes flick open to stare unblinkingly at him. “Nevermind. I’m talking to a cat. I’m going crazy. Just don’t bite my neck or claw my heart out or something.” Tim sighs and flops his head back against the arms of the couch. Jason meows at him.

“I just fed you, Jason. Do you want to get fat?” A little huff, and then a second meow. Tim sighs, careful not to move as Jason delicately stands up, padding over to rub against the crook of Tim’s neck, purring. Hesitantly, Tim stretches his fingers to run through the black fur, and the kitten meows contentedly.

“I really don’t get you,” murmurs Tim. The kitten stops reveling in the attention its receiving and stops to stare at Tim again. Then, oddly, its eyebrows raise, the way it would if it had any.

Tim’s eyes narrow. “Oi. Can – can you understand me?” The kitten all but rolls his eyes. Tim grits his teeth. “ _Jason_.”

A smug, satisfied smirk graces the kitten’s expression. “Oh my god. You’ve been playing possum on me this whole time. And Bruce. And everyone else.” A pleased nod.

“Oh my god. I’m going to kill you. And tell Bruce.” The cat meows at him scornfully, settling back on his chest and licking its paws daintily.

“Ok, so you might be right. Bruce will just think I’m crazy because you’re just going to act like a goddamn normal cat when I try and get you to prove it, aren’t you?” A roll of eyes, and a nod. Tim can’t win. He groans mournfully and lets Jason bathe in his undisputed victory.

“I hate you so much.” He receives a bop on the nose from Jason’s paw, but Tim is too anguished to really notice.


	2. Lost Kitten

“Have you guys tracked down Klarion yet?”

“We’re working on it. We’ve got Raven on it too, so hopefully it won’t be too long until we find him. How’s Jason holding up?”

“He’s shedding, Dick. He shed all over my goddamn suit.” Tim cast an irked eye over where Jason was tangled up in a ball of yarn, meowing pitifully at him. By this point, Tim had lost any mercy left in him, turning away from the kitten. He heard Dick stifling a laugh.

“Sounds tough. Sorry you had to keep him for so long.”

“What did Zatanna say?”

“She said that Jason should have turned back by now, but it seems like there needs to be some sort of catalyst for the reversal. Other than that, she’s working on unraveling the spell. I’ll let you know when she gets back to me.”

“All right.”

“Besides Jason, how are you?” asked Dick, a note of concern entering his voice. Tim cringed inwardly. “I know you’ve been busy, but –”

“I’m fine, Dick, but I have some files to get back to. Jason’s acting up again. I’ll catch up with you another time. Talk to you later.” He ended the call with a click and a heavy sigh, wandering over to where Jason was still wriggling helplessly on the ground.

“Promise me you’ll stop leaving dead rats on my sofa, and then I’ll help you out,” said Tim sternly. The tiny ball of enraged fur spat at him in annoyance.

“Ok, so then you’ll stop leaving me half-alive rats?” asked Tim hopefully. The kitten only offered a shrewd look, stopping its wriggling and gazing hopefully at him. Somehow, Jason had already mastered the expression with the wide, guileless eyes.

“I hate you.” Tim growled at Jason and Jason purred successfully as Tim gathered the kitten up and started working on the tangle of knots. Upon being freed, Jason nimbly evaded Tim’s grasp, leaping down to soft carpet and rubbing his face against Tim’s leg.

“Behave, Jason.” Tim grumbled affectionately. “If you’re good, I bought some fish for dinner.”

~*~*~*~*~

It was storming outside, and Tim was worried. He hadn’t seen Jason in _hours_. Thermal scans of the apartment revealed that Jason wasn’t hiding in any of the case files or under the bed. He knew Jason had been getting antsy after being stuck in the apartment for days, but still.

It was a summer storm, arriving as suddenly as the wind and thunder did, and Tim glanced outside where lightning flashed.

Jason might have been a cat, but it was still _Jason_ , right?

“Fuck it,” muttered Tim, throwing his hands up and slamming the laptop shut.  “I hate animals.” He didn’t bother looking for a jacket that wasn’t coated with cat hair before he was grabbing a flashlight and running out the door.

An easy sweep of the block revealed no traces of Jason. In the end, Tim was forced to make a call to Babs.

“I can’t believe I’m searching for cats now and not criminals.”

“But you’re used to looking for Selina?”

“Well, until I realized I could work out her rendezvouses with B.” Tim made a horrified expression as he listened keenly to the click of her fingernails over her keys. The storm was cutting out the transmission, and Tim was worried that he wouldn’t be able to find anything.

“I think he left your apartment at about six this evening. He managed to undo the latch on your windows. Even as a cat he’s still smart.”

“You have no idea,” muttered Tim, shivering as the cold soaked in through his jacket. “What else?”

“Mm…Following him. The cameras aren’t exactly positioned to trace cats, you know. Well, there was a tuxedo cat crossing the street at the junction that’s probably him. Check the alleyways, maybe.”

“Damn. Thanks, Babs.”

“No problem. For all you know, right now he could be heading home. I’ll let you know if I can work out his location. Would you have any idea where he could be? I mean, I know that he’s a cat now, but maybe he remembered something?”

“Fuck. Could he have went to Crime Alley?”

“It’s possible. Plenty of alley cats there as well.”

“I’ll go there then.”

“Good luck, Tim.”

~*~*~*~

Tim feels too exposed, too vulnerable in the dim streetlight of Crime Alley in only a jacket and jeans by the movie theater that started it all. The flickering lamplight casts more shadows than clears them, and the dumpsters are home to equally drenched and lonely cats, all silent in the pattering rain.

“Jason?” he calls experimentally. “You here?” His voice sends a few shadowed tails running, scattering in the yellow gleam of his flashlight. It feels wrong to raise his voice here as his boots step in unavoidable puddles. He sighs and clicks his flashlight off. Sweeping his hood off, Tim takes a moment of silence, tilting his head up to catch the crying rain on his cheeks.

Everything began and ended here, he thinks, looking up at the dark rain clouds. For Bruce Wayne, it ended, for Batman, it started. And it started for Jason here, too. Everything full circle.

The stillness and the silence is suffocating and cleansing all at once. Just as Tim sweeps his hood back on, his ears catch a tiny whine. Tim’s eyebrows furrow. He _knows_ that whine, but instead of annoying and unrepentantly smug, it sounds desperate and lonely.

He waits until he hears it again. He splashes through the deep puddles, searching for the source.

“Jason?” he calls. A mewl, definitely louder. “Jay, it’s Tim. Are you okay?” He flicks his torch back on, sweeping the area, until the artificial light lands on the cracked grate of a storm drain. Tim’s heart sinks.

His fingers easily lift the grate, peering into the dank blackness and shining the torch inside.

“Oh, god, _Jason_ ,” he breathes. A wet and bedraggled cat mewls at him, desperately clinging to something that’s too deep inside for Tim to reach him. “It’s okay,” he manages, shrugging off his jacket. “I’ll get you out. If I put my jacket in, do you think you could hang onto it with your claws while I pull you out?” Jason manages a tiny nod, still mewling. “Ok. Ok. I got this,”

Tim coaches himself as he shakes out the jacket, pulling it inside out so that Jason can get his claws into the softer lining and not the waterproof material. “Meow three times when you’re ready for me to start getting it out, ok?” An affirmative mewl. Tim keeps feeding the fabric in until it’s all the way inside the drain, waiting patiently until he feels a weight latch onto the fabric and the three rapid-fire meows. Gingerly, he carefully pulls his coat out bit by bit, constantly assuring Jason that he’s out, until he sees the first sign of disheveled fur being pulled out of the drain. Tim heaves a sigh of relief as Jason rolls out of the grimy folds of jacket, all but leaping towards Tim and burrowing as close as possible to Tim’s drenched shirt for warmth. The force of his jump practically knocks Tim over onto his butt so that he’s just sitting in a puddle, but Tim can’t bring himself to even remotely care as he holds Jason as close as possible to his chest.

“Don’t fucking worry me like that, Jay,” he demands angrily, and Jason’s ears flatten a little, but Tim cups him all the tighter. “Do you know how much time I spent searching for you? You could have _died_.” Tim’s about to go off on a tirade at his cat, (and when was that a thing?) when suddenly Jason yowls and starts struggling in his hands. Confused, Tim just holds onto the abruptly angry kitten when he hears the telltale sound of a gun being cocked behind him.

“No sudden moves, boy.” Tim’s heart sinks. Sure, he has his utility belt on him, but in the end his persona is still Tim Drake, and he’s cupping a decidedly angry and weak kitten.

“Ok, whatever you say,” he says cautiously. “Look, if you want my wallet that’s in my jacket, but I’m holding my cat and –”

“Don’t care. Hands up, _now_.” Tim sighs and carefully deposits Jason on his lap, raising his hands slowly.

Of course, Jason doesn’t take shit like that from anyone, and immediately he’s off Tim’s lap, yowling louder than the thunder and launching towards whoever’s behind Tim.

“Ow! Fucking cat!” Tim rolls to the side as the gun goes off, and he flips around in time to see Jason with his teeth sinking into the guy’s ankle, refusing to let go. “Get it off!” The guy foolishly drops the gun to pry Jason off, but what pisses Tim off the most is when he grabs Jason by the scruff of his neck and hurls the cat at the wall.

Tim sees red when he helplessly watches the tiny body slide down the wall into an unconscious heap.

“You,” he growls, launching forward and tripping his would-be assailant, “fucking,” he elbows the man in the gut, “ _bastard_.” He finishes the man with an uppercut to the jaw, breaking it with a satisfying snap. The man falls forward, unconscious, hitting the ground face first. Tim rushes to the fallen cat, feeling like the worst pet owner in the world.

“Babs,” he calls desperately, cradling the tiny ball of drenched fluff in his hands, searching for any signs of life. “I need help.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There should probably be one more installment. Kudos and reviews are seriously appreciated <3
> 
> But whoo! I finally wrote Tim kicking proper ass! :D (He tries so hard at taking care of others when he can barely take care of himself, poor thing D:)
> 
> Review for a happy ending!


	3. Two Can Play This Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to wait longer before posting this, but it was too adorable to pass up, and i love getting reviews from you guys :D

Jay-kitty, as Tim calls him in a sugar sweet tone to purposefully piss him off, stares in disgust at the steeping bowl of ramen. Tim clicks his tongue. He’s glad that Jason is healing up well, but Jason will never forgive him for the vet visit or the injections he had to suffer through.

He’ll live. Both of them. Tim’s made sure the asshole who attacked him was charged, using his status and the row of lawyers Wayne Enterprises assembled for him. It was probably overkill, but Tim’s never going to forgive the man for nearly killing Jason in kitty form. Tim has sacrificed far too much of his time and suffered far too many migraines for someone he’s been trying to remain detached towards for that to happen.

“I can hear you judging.” Jason wrinkles his nose at the offending bowl of noodles. “Your food’s over there, Jason. Shoo.” Obviously, Jason doesn’t, choosing to lie down on the coffee table to lazily bat at Tim’s fork, avidly watching the way the lamplight reflects off it. Tim shakes his head with a small smile, picking at the noodles while he scans case files. For a moment there’s peaceful quiet, with only Tim’s occasional slurps breaking the silence, until Tim finally sets his empty bowl down.

“Do you always watch people eating like you’re going to claw them?” Tim sighs and slumps onto the table, turning his head to face the kitten when he hears a confused meow. Jason’s head is tilted to the side curiously, studying him.

“Sorry. Just…tired,” Tim sighs, closing his eyes. “It gets boring here, sometimes. Well, less boring now that you’ve been bringing me random not-quite dead mice as presents, and also nearly drowning yourself in a storm drain. I’m probably going to have to evacuate here later. You’d like that, won’t you?” A pleased purr. “Behave, Jason, or I’ll neuter you.”

A growl. “Ok, fine, so maybe I wouldn’t actually go that far,” concedes Tim. “Do you even neuter kittens? Maybe I should do a google search –” he jerks back, laughing as a paw swipes furiously at his face. “Sorry, I won’t joke about it anymore. I’m sorry?” he offers, settling back against the foot of the sofa. A cautious _mrrow_. “I’d pinky promise, but you’d just claw me.” Huffing, Jason seems to find his apology sufficient, because he leaps down into Tim’s lap. Tim grunts a little in surprise at the ball of weight, shifting to accommodate the squirming kitten.

“You’re a little demon,” he hums, picking up Jason as he gets up to properly rest on the couch. Jason sits again just atop the scar he delivered to Tim during their battle for the cowl, tail twitching restlessly. “You’ve been so restless, recently,” sighs Tim. “Dunno why.” A purposeful, heavy tap of Jason’s paw on his chest. “Me?” Tim blinks. The kitten nods empathetically.

“What’d I do? Did I not let you outside enough? Jason, I took you on _patrol_ because you wouldn’t stop _yowling_ and waking the damn _neighbors_.” Tim glares at Jason, who looks suitably pleased with that spot of chaos. Still, he gets a shake of Jason’s head. Tim racks his brain. “Uh. I don’t know. Is this just going back to how you despise me at heart? Do you need more attention? Kibble? Jay, I’m not a good pet owner.” A frustrated meow, and Jason nips his fingers. “Ow. Ok, so you _do_ hate me, but that’s not the reason?” Frustrated, Jason wiggles around on Tim’s chest, arching into a curve to leap onto the coffee table. Tim giggles at bit at the ticklish feeling, gasping a little as Jason uses him as a springboard to vault onto the table, claws clicking against the varnish.

“You owe me a lot of new furniture,” sighs Tim. Jason ignores him, tries to use the laptop mouse. Tim laughs a little when the trackpad doesn’t respond to soft kitten paws. “One moment. Let me get you the actual mouse to plug in. Please don’t claw my laptop. You might electrocute yourself, and I don’t know how I’d explain that to Bruce.”

By the time he returns with said mouse dangling from its wire, Jason is waiting patiently to the side, stretching slightly. Tim configures the mouse, and watches the surreal sight of a tuxedo cat batting the computer mouse from side to side, nosing at it, and trying to get it to where he wants it to go. Finally, Jason manages to click on the tab of Tim’s email, then slowly and tortuously manages to get it to where he has the chat for Kon open. The little nuisance of a furball stares up at Tim expectantly, whiskers twitching with curiosity.

Tim’s heart sinks.

“Oh. That.” He smiles sheepishly at Jason. “Sorry. Was I being moody all day after it?” A nod. “C’mere.” He lifts Jason up to settle back on his chest where’s he’s lying along the couch again, closing his eyes. “Anyway, you probably don’t know, but Kon and Cassie are thinking of getting engaged. And, y’know, I’m happy for them. They’re in a good place. They deserve each other.”

A confused meow. Tim absentmindedly scratches the spot under Jason’s neck that makes the kitten croon and snuggle for more. “Oh. Yeah. Not that it matters anymore, but Kon and I were…well…you know how it goes. Not really dating, but…yeah.” Tim shrugs awkwardly. “Point is that, they’re happy together. They’re moving on. I’m glad they got back together after we all thought Superboy died.” Tim smiles sadly. “I’m happy for them. I really am.” He says it aloud in the hopes that he can convince himself. Jason, on the other hand, looks thoroughly unimpressed. Frowning, Tim flicks Jason’s nose gently, watching it twitch in annoyance and Jason’s tiny paws batting his finger away.

“If you tell anyone what I just said I _will_ neuter you Jason, I don’t care how many times you claw me or attempt to kill me.” Tim closes his eyes. “Thanks for listening. Or asking. Whichever one. Not really that many people to talk to nowadays. Except for when we need stuff from each other.” He sighs, feeling an odd sort of relief wash over him, a knot of tension he hadn’t realized was there before dissolving. He feels a bit more relaxed. A little less stressed. He exhales heavily, ignoring when Jason starts padding across his chest again.

“What, you want more scratches? Spoiled.” Tim flicks his eyes open when Jason’s tongue, rough and spiny, licks softly across his chin. “Ew. Come to think of it, you’ve never licked me before.” Tim laughs softly, lifting Jason above his face. “Were you trying to comfort me? That’s sweet, Jay.” Jason looks somewhat affronted at that, and Tim can’t help himself but gently bump noses with the annoyed kitten, giving him a tiny, affectionate peck. “It’s all right. I’m a terrible pet owner. And once you turn human you can leave and don’t have to deal with me forgetting which sort of pet food brand you like –” Tim grunts in pain as a massively bulky weight crushes the air out of his chest. He gasps for air as he sinks further into the couch cushion, disoriented as he comes face to face with an absolutely mortified and naked Jason Peter Todd.

There’s a horrific silence as the reality of the situation crashes on them, both processing it far too slowly for their liking. Then Jason is up and moving, making his getaway before Tim can react. Rationally Tim knows Jason is probably going to fling himself out the window and that he could _probably_ intercept him, but his limbs are moving twice as slowly as his fizzing, short-circuited brain. Jason’s limbs seem to be unaccustomed to walking on two feet though, because he clears the coffee table, misses the landing, and promptly crashes face first into the rug butt naked.

The silence stretches. Tim coughs politely and avoids looking at the man’s lower regions and the splotchy blush at the base of Jason’s neck spreading to the rest of his body.

“If you stick around for a few minutes I might find something that fits you. Then we’ll never have to talk about this again.”

Jason uses the door in his second attempt at fleeing, walking out in a faded Superboy t-shirt and Dick’s forgotten shorts without so much as a head turn or goodbye. Tim doesn’t blame him.

~*~*~*~

A few weeks later, Tim has moved into his new safe house. New furniture, but more sparsely furnished than the last. He finishes sending off his report to Bruce, stares at his new ceiling.

It’s lonely. He’s not hungry, either. He misses having someone to annoy him, to bait him, to swat him, hell, just someone to talk to. He could settle for Killer Croc, or even Penguin.

Then the sound of his alarms being tripped. Groaning, Tim swings his feet off the sofa. Apparently he can only ever get the wrong kind of company. He grabs his bo staff along the way, padding softly to the kitchen where the alert came from. However, the intruder isn’t even trying to be discreet, and he can hear grumbling and the rustle of plastic bags.

Tentatively, Tim opens the door, peeking in to stare at Jason Todd unpacking groceries on his table as if he lives here. “Jason?”

“I see you’ve already restocked your ramen. I’m trashing the lot. If you stop me I’m telling Alfie.”

Tim can’t stop staring. “I. Jason, what are you doing here?”

Jason breezes past him. Tim notices that Jason purposefully avoids making eye contact. “I’m cooking. I’m so damn tired of you eating ramen and chips. You were feeding me better than you were feeding _yourself_.”

“Well, uh –”

“Nope, too late. No complaints. Fuck off and outta your kitchen.” Jason steers Tim out the door, condescendingly pats him on the cheek, takes his bo staff, and returns to emptying out the bags. Nonplussed, Tim can only stare helplessly at his newly occupied kitchen.

“Um. Are you going to poison me?”

“The way you’ve been poisoning yourself with ramen? Hell naw.”

Tim considers this. “You hate me.”

At that, Jason sighs and stomps over to him. He towers over Tim, but Tim isn’t particularly impressed.

“Replacement, you seem to have this overly wrong notion that I hate you. I don’t. Can we _please_ just straighten that out now? I’m makin’ you dinner here, on my own dime.”

“Oh. Well, uh. I just assumed you did. You know, with the stabbing and all that. And the fact that I think you’ve actively tried to kill me more often than Catwoman ever did. And the leaving me dead rodents.”

Jason sighs, looking worn out. “Look. Can’t I just, I don’t know, repay you for not throttling me while I was rocking whiskers and hacking furballs?”

“I just figured you were grateful for me not actually neutering you.” Jason groans and scrubs at his eyes, and finally Tim can’t hold back a small smile. “Ok, fine, I’ll stop giving you a hard time.”

Jason stares at him, realizing that Tim is just milking it for all that he can. “Asshole,” he mutters, stomping back into the kitchen. Tim laughs softly and follows him. “You’re way too forgiving, Pretender.”

“If you say so,” Tim settles back against the doorway. “Do you need help?”

“Fuck off, you’ll just set the whole place on fire.”

“I thought I’d offer regardless.”

“You just sit yourself where I can make sure you’re not being stupid, Replacement.” Jason gruffly returns to studiously avoiding eye contact. Tim sighs softly, watching Jason search for a nonexistent spatula from his vantage point at the table. He knows it’s too soon to talk about the elephant in the room, but this, at least, is progress. Zatanna may have only informed him about the schematics of the spell when it was already broken, but it didn’t take a fool to put two and two together.

Jason will come to him when he’s ready, of that much Tim is certain of. Wasn’t this proof already? Still, Tim isn’t quite satisfied, not after the hell Jason had put him through.

“Jason.” Tim wanders up to where the other had foolishly turned to avoid eye contact.

“What?” muttered Jason, burying his head deeper into the grocery bag Tim knows is already empty. Smiling, Tim pecks him gently on the base of his neck, watching the skin there turn a brilliant shade of red.

“Thanks.” Tim smiles innocently at Jason, who’s sputtering incoherently. “I appreciate it. I’ll be in the living room.” He allows a smug smile of his own to grace his face as he leaves the kitchen. Jason forgets two can play this game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this! (Whoo, my first finished multi-chaptered fic) XD I didn't anticipate how receptive of a response this would get when i first wrote the beginning, so without all your support you guys wouldn't have gotten additional chapters :P
> 
> Also @Alexicon, you guessed right on both the kiss AND the pun. xD
> 
> I wish I could write more kitty jay ficlets, but then i'd have to fiddle around with the chapters or something, and i think i'm too lazy for that :P
> 
> But thank you for sticking around! Kudos and reviews are appreciated :D


	4. Tease

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO.
> 
> I LIED. 
> 
> AND I AM UNREPENTANT.
> 
> enjoy the new chapter xD

Jason’s eyebrow twitched at the pile of candy wrappers littering the coffee table.

“Last I checked, weren’t you missing a spleen, Pretender?”

“Bite me,” mumbled Tim absentmindedly. “And it’s Tim. Shouldn’t we be past the name-calling by now?”

“Shut up, just because I’m suddenly playing housewife because you can’t even adequately take care of yourself does _not_ mean we’re on first name terms.”

“I took great care of you while you were feeling feline,” grumbled Tim. “Show some respect, Jason.”

“Do _not_ try and pun your way out of this, Replacement, because I can out-pun you any day.” Jason glared as he brandished the newly purchased spatula at the third Robin. “Also, chicken with Alfie’s sauce?” He smirked when he heard the telltale rumbling of Tim’s stomach. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“It does smell really good,” admitted Tim, setting his laptop to the side. “Did Alfie teach you to make all of that?”

“More or less. Cooking’s just experimentation. Except for when you’re involved.” Jason raised his eyebrow. “Then it just becomes a warzone.”

“Guilty.” Tim padded to the kitchen in socked feet, grabbing utensils to lay them out on the table. Jason watched as Tim hummed tunelessly, tufts of hair resting gently against the back of his pale neck as he laid out tableware.

Jason slammed a hand on the table. “How long are we going to do this?” he snapped, losing his patience. Tim looked up, startled.

“Do what?” He blinked at Jason, and the gorgeous flutter of those eyelashes had Jason nearly throwing the spatula at him.

“I mean _this_.” He waved expansively at the kitchen. “Do you think I cook for just anyone, Pretender? Especially for two _weeks_?”

Tim blinked innocently, rocking back on his heels and drumming his fingers on the table. “I suppose not. But I assumed the food was thanks for making the guy who threw you at a wall drink out of a straw. Perhaps I was wrong?”

“ _Pretender_.” Jason glowered at him, until with a small huff of laughter, Tim abandoned the table and walked over to him.

“Ok, so maybe it was fun giving you a taste of your own medicine and pretending to be thickheaded,” he relented, and Jason allowed himself to be pressed again the counter, Tim’s arms caging him against it. Tim’s smile was warm and amused, and Jason’s breath hitched as Tim wrapped a bare hand loosely around the back of his neck, cupping it, and leaning into his space until their foreheads were nearly touching.

“You’re an asshole,” muttered Jason, and Tim’s soft chuff of laughter reminded Jason that Tim was every bit as snarky and sarcastic as he was, if only subtler.

“So’re you. Apparently the people who moved into the last safe house had to call exterminators to deal with the rodents you purposefully brought in alive.”

“Are you complaining?” Jason offered a smirk as he loosely gripped Tim’s hips, pulling him closer.

“Nah,” breathed Tim, the corner of his eyes crinkling, and Jason valiantly tried to scowl at the way a small dimple graced Tim’s features. “You were too cute to get angry at while you were a cat.” Then his lips, soft and gently chapped were pressing against Jason’s, gripping his shoulders, and Jason’s head was reeling fuzzily as he pulled Tim closer, the younger man’s earthy scent becoming sharper and crisper. Then Tim was pulling back, a surprised expression on his face, and then Jason realized he was dangling in midair, his feet no longer touching Tim’s floor.

“Huh.” Tim blinked at him, holding him out at arm’s length. To his horror, Jason felt the telltale swish of a tail that undoubtedly belonged to him. “I think we might have to make a call to Zatanna after all.” Jason caught sight of his hands that were paws yet again, and mewled in frustration, cat ears flattening as he struggled in Tim’s arms. Ever the detective, Tim was still holding him and gesticulating slightly. “So I guess that means whenever you get kissed on the lips you get turned back? Or I guess nose bumps? I don’t know. Huh. I guess Klarion _really_ did not like y –” Jason growled and wriggled in Tim’s hands. Laughing, Tim allowed him to leap onto the counter and onto solid ground again. It was nice, somehow, seeing Tim smile so freely, and remain less unguarded around him, even if it meant being a cat again. Scowling as well as he could, Jason licked at his paws, whiskers twitching expectantly at Tim.

“What? Oh, sorry.” Still laughing slightly, Tim picked him up again, more tenderly this time, pecking him fondly over the top of his head and then bumping noses with him. This time, Jason felt the change, being prepared for it, and was relieved when he could loosely grip the hem of Tim’s shirt once again. However, Tim wouldn’t let him pull away, cupping the back of his head to press his lips more firmly to Jason’s.

“I don’t need you changing species on me every time I kiss you,” he mumbled. Jason would have snorted if it weren’t for their close proximity to each other and if he weren’t smiling so hard it hurt.

“What, you just gonna stay liplocked with me for the rest of time?” he grumbled into Tim’s mouth, and he couldn’t deny he liked the way Tim chuckled into the kiss.

“I was thinking that doesn’t sound too bad,” Tim admitted breathily, and Jason rolled his eyes even as he gathered Tim’s lithe frame into his arms.

“You’re an idiot, Pretender,” he whispered against Tim’s smiling mouth. “Also, you know I’m naked again and my clothes are on the floor, right?”

“How could I forget? Are you going to vault over the table again?”

“I panicked back then, okay?” grumbled Jason. He backed Tim slowly out of the kitchen, lips moving against each other until he carefully pressed Tim against the couch, making sure their mouths didn’t break contact. Tim managed a breathy laugh as his back hit the couch cushions.

“Running out of air,” he murmured hazily, sucking in a small gasp as Jason nipped his lip teasingly.

“Too bad, Pretender,” grinned Jason, running thankfully human hands up Tim’s stomach and under his shirt, and Tim giggled, finally breaking the kiss and shoving Jason away playfully.

“Clothes first, then dinner. Then we call Zatanna.”

“And then?”

“And then I find excuses to kiss you.”

“Do my clothes have to come off again?” Tim smirked at him, all heat, and Jason’s breath almost caught in his chest.

“It’s only on the mouth that’s a problem, isn’t it?” Tim responded, eyelashes lowered. Then he grazed a kiss along Jason’s jawline, and Jason groaned, tipping his head back as Tim’s finger crooked under his chin and stroked just in the right way that had him shuddering with the realization Tim had probably figured out he was sensitive there while he’d been a cat.

“Fucking tease, Replacement,” he managed, swallowing audibly, and Tim just smiled innocently, resting his head against Jason’s shoulder.

“And don’t you ever forget it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah...i needed more kitty jay in my life, and apparently so did a lot of you. So although i really liked the ending of the last chapter, I wrote more >_>
> 
> I dunno, I don't own a cat, so if there are just random scenes you'd like me to write as flashbacks for when he's totally kitty, um, yeah, send them along and when i have time i'll hopefully write them as tiny drabbles? shrugs
> 
> that's probably a bad idea because i keep stalling on updating my other fics and doing actual work, but do i care? ...i'll regret it later. but whatever.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed, review, kudos, they inspire me, etc etc etc <3 No seriously, why do you think this has gone on for so long and the weirdly sort of regular updates? 
> 
> Also, please send all your love and hugs (and your souls) to DarkFlorence for translating this fic to Chinese! Link to chapter one is here: http://darkfffff.lofter.com/post/1d6fd4f7_aa8dc39 
> 
> Also, follow me on [tumblr](http://rivetingfabrications.tumblr.com/) for sinful robin trash and random stuff. Seriously random. But mostly dc stuff.


	5. Robin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zatanna's going to have to get used to the batfam having her on speed dial.

Bruce fixes Tim with a blank stare, and Jason shifts ever so subtly away from Tim’s, as if to escape from the fallout inevitably coming their way.

“So, how did you find out that there are still residual effects of the spell?” Behind where Bruce is sitting in the plush sofa, Jason sees the hunched shoulders of Dick attempting to hide his muffled cackling, and fights down the urge to punch his older brother. Tim’s face grows redder as Bruce’s expression becomes stonier.

“Obviously, Todd kissed Drake, as there is no one else in the universe who would otherwise let him,” scoffed Damian, walking by with Titus’ leash. Tim’s embarrassed squawk is drowned out by Dick’s tumultuous, unrestrained laughter.

“Damian!” yells Tim.

“ _Damian_ ,” chides Dick gleefully, and everyone else in the room just looks virtually ill. The demon brat is unrepentant.

“What?” He scowls, crossing his arms. “Tt. I would not waste my time worrying about such imbeciles, father. I would say you would have far more if it had been one of those insipid _true love_ kisses. For all we know Todd could have kissed a toad while as a cat and this could have been resolved long ago.” He rolls his eyes, and Tim holds back from throttling the little brat.

“Baby bat’s got a point, B,” hums Dick. “We’re making too many assumptions. We should wait until Zatanna gets back to –” he’s interrupted by the chime of his cellphone, checks the caller I.D. “Speak of the devil.” He answers. “Hey, whatcha got for us? _Oh_ –” His gaze shifts over to Tim and Jason, expression serious. “Klarion’s been spotted. Nearest boom tube is fifteen minutes away. Z’ll send in the coordinates.”

~*~*~*~

Red Robin dives forward, bo staff extended at the ready as Klarion dodges him easily. “Get the familiar!” he yells, and Hood’s guns blaze bright and metallic as the cat screeches.

“Gah! Annoying bats!” snaps Klarion, fists glowing with red energy. “How dare you hurt an innocent cat!” The cat jumps into his arms, and Klarion jumps back, wary now.

“Why do I have to get the dumbass feline?” growls Jason. “I came here to get pay back against the witch kid.”

“Once we get him, he’s all yours, Hood,” grumbles Red Robin. “Until then, the cat’s your focus.” Red Robin shoots a grapple hook towards Klarion and it lands with a satisfying thud into the adjacent building. He launches forward, projectiles already in his hand.

“Pft! You were far more likeable as a kitten, Hood!” screeches Klarion, launching another blast that singes the edge of a billboard.

“Yeah, and you’re going to pay for it,” hisses Jason, reloading his third magazine with his mouth, already taking aim with his dominant hand. Tim’s projectiles explode in the air around Klarion, and he screeches as smoke gets into his eyes, makes them water profusely.

“Go, Hood!” shouts Tim, already shooting a second grapple so that it wraps around Klarion’s torso and the arms holding the familiar, tugs it and feels it holding strong even as the smoke obscures Klarion’s body. Hood is firing, bullets true, but –

Tim’s eyes widen as he feels the rope slacken, swings himself up to the new rooftop he’s on, realizes that the rope is burning and there’s a violet purple blast that’s heading towards him. He steps easily to the side, but then the avoided blast rocks the building, and he feels the tiles tremble and groan under his feet as the blast _splinters_ and cracks the roof he’s standing on.

He falls, spreading his arms and cape out to slow his descent. Klarion teleports to him, cackling gleefully like a child winning. “You’ve been annoying me the whole night, birdie, so maybe I’ll just have to do to you what I did to your friend over there, except more permanent!” Blue light absorbs him, and distantly, Tim hears a shout of “Red!” recognizes it as the Hood’s voice, but it’s too late.

~*~*~*~*~

“Bastard!” yells Jason angrily, grappling over to an undamaged section of the building.

“We got what we came for, Teekl,” says Klarion to his familiar, and the cat purrs contentedly as Klarion runs his pointed nails through his fur. “Let’s go.” His fingers wave, and then a portal swallows them up just before Jason’s last bullet hits them.

“Fuckers,” breathes Jason as he holsters his guns, and then he scans desperately for any sign of Red Robin. He swings down multiple fire escapes before he’s able to get down to the ledge where he sees Red Robin’s clothes in a sad pile, remembers it happening to him as well, feeling disoriented.

“C’mon, Red,” manages Jason weakly, boots hitting the ledge with a thud, unlocking the catches of his helmet and ripping it off his head. “Gimme a sign you’re still kicking.” He brushes back the empty clothes before being rewarded with small, frantic movement bobbing in the pile of red and black. “Thank god. You fucking idiot, _you_ should have gone after the damn cat –” A bird rolls out, chirping in confusion, and Jason wants to slam his head against the fucking wall.

Great. “Oracle, get me Nightwing,” growls Hood, tapping the receiver in his ear. “He needs to make a second call to Zatanna.” He extends a hand towards the bird, and the tiny crimson-breasted robin chirps in fear and flutters off.

“Dammit, bird brain,” growls Jason, and without thinking he tosses the Red Hood helmet over the bird to capture it. “If you fucking fly on me right now, I will stick you in a damn cage, got it?” Another thought crosses his mind – he doesn’t know if Tim has his memories. With Tim’s antics, he guesses the younger hero has no recollection whatsoever of being human.

“Fuck,” says Jason eloquently, listening to the sound of frantically beating wings echoing in the dark of his helmet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea where i'm going with this story :D what is plot? What does klarion want? I have no clue as of now :'D He's just chaotic and it's great.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed it, leave a kudos or write a review to tell me what you want to see happen (I'm just writing these chapters because people seem to enjoy this xD), they make my day and I always appreciate them <3
> 
> Look forward to Jason dealing with robin-ified Tim xD and maybe some flashback chapters of jay as a cat once i have more time xD


	6. Custody

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy jealous Jaybird!

“Aww, he’s so cute!” Nightwing coos at the tiny robin that looks somewhat terrified in its cage. Jason just feels…vexed somehow, and he doesn’t feel like nitpicking at the feeling, simply shoving it to the side and pretending that it doesn’t exist. He’s been granted access to the Watchtower, but he doesn’t feel like trying to shoulder his way towards the cluster of former Titan and current Titan members surrounding Tim’s newly acquired bird cage.

“Back off guys, you’re scaring him.” The crowd ripples a little and parts around Zatanna. One person breaks away from the crowd, making her way towards Jason.

“You doing all right?” Donna asks in some concern, and Jason waves her off a little, trying to be nonchalant.

“Why’re you asking me? I’m not the one turned into a real birdbrain.” When he crosses his arms Donna doesn’t look convinced.

“Sure, tough guy. And I’m sure the reason you’ve been sulking and brooding here is because you’re all sunshine and flowers. What’s wrong?” she prompts gently. Jason huffs an exasperated breath, grateful that his helmet is covering his expression.

“Nothing.” Donna rolls her eyes, but chooses to lean against the wall with him, watching as Zatanna examines the bird.

“C’mon out, Tim,” the magician coaxes, but when she sticks her hand into the open cage door Tim just looks petrified and hops into the farthest corner available, talons clinging to the horizontal bars. She sighs, shaking her head and retracting her hand.

“It’s not the same spell as Jason’s, either. I thought you guys broke yours, though? At least partially, anyway.” She’s giving Jason this _look_ , and no, Jason is not going to smooch a robin in front of the whole caped community. He has _standards_. And a _reputation_ , he adds internally at the last second, just so that he can believe to himself that he has his priorities straight. Dick looks like he’s struggling not to laugh again. She opens her mouth to say more, when the boom tube opens in a flash of bright light, and Superboy steps through, carrying a bag of unopened birdseed.

“Hey, so is anyone going to tell me why –” He stops in his tracks, glancing curiously at the group of superheroes and then the birdcage.

“Oh man, is this _Tim_?” The meta walks over to the birdcage where Tim is fluttering about in agitation. “Hey, little guy.” Superboy grins, bright and lively. “I gotta get a picture of this.” A small chirp bursts out of Tim, and he cocks his head in a way that is _not_ cute at the appearance of the meta peering down at him. It’s the first positive noise he’s made all night since coming to the Watchtower, and Superboy all but beams. “Guys, maybe give him some space?” he suggests, and everyone quickly backs off a few steps. He sticks his hand in to the cage, and – _damn him_ – Tim hops onto his finger, chirping happily. Superboy’s face splits with the delighted grin on his face.

“He’s so _adorable_.” His thumb lifts up to gently stroke Tim’s head, but Tim nips his finger, curiously biting it to see if it’s edible.

 _“Not that it matters anymore, but Kon and I were…well…you know how it goes. Not really dating, but…yeah.”_ Tim’s words float back to haunt Jason, and a swirl of angry jealousy pools in his stomach. He tenses slightly as Superboy coos at Tim and the tiny bird makes no effort to escape, as Donna carefully glances at him to check he’s not about to do anything stupid. Then all Jason can see is red as Superboy plants a silly, sweet kiss on top of Robin’s head, and everyone around them fusses and giggles.

“Easy, Jason.” Donna squeezes Jason's arm preemptively. “I _really_ do not want to have to kick you out of the Watchtower.”

“Whatever,” grumbles Jason, scuffing his boots, but despite his simmering anger, there’s an unwelcome, undeniable surge of relief as Tim fluffs up his feathers and shakes his head rapidly, nipping Superboy’s finger once again. There’s still no transformation.

“Should we keep him here at the Watchtower? He could be the new mascot of the Justice League,” someone suggests. Jason _strongly_ objects to that. He's about to step forward to announce his utmost disagreement when Tim abruptly takes off, and there are a few shouts of surprise as Tim soars, landing atop Jason’s helmet. Donna snickers at him when he stops in his tracks, feeling the gentle weight drop onto him. Tim preens, nestling atop the metal, and Jason bares a victorious grin that no one can see.

“Looks like the babybird’s made up his mind,” he says, trying to play it off nonchalantly.

“Hold up, Jason.” Dick holds up a hand. “If Tim stays here it’ll be easier for Zatanna to work out what’s going on. Maybe it’s a good idea for him to stay here.”

“Please,” huffs Jason. “Like between any of you guys Red Robin would survive. One of you’s gonna forget who feed him _what_ , especially since people are always coming in and out.” Donna shoots him a wry glance, but Jason doesn’t care that he’s not fooling anyone.

Dick raises an eyebrow. “And I suppose _you’re_ an expert on birds, Jay?”

“Aren’t all us ex-Robins?” shoots back Jason, maybe a little more aggressively than he intended. “Come off it. I survived in Tim’s care as a fucking kitten.”

“…that’s because it was _Tim_ taking care of _you_ , not the other way around,” retorts Dick, and Jason has to admit he might have a point. Jason just scoffs, cocking his hip. Tim chirrups, fluffing his feathers out again, eyes closing a little in sleepiness.

“C’mon, Dickiebird.” Jason smirks at him. “Think of it as my late Christmas present from the year I died. Besides, I can repay Timbo the favor for not offing me as a cat now.”

Jason wins after that particular argument, with Dick throwing his hands up in the air and muttering about his stupid baby brothers. Once he manages to get Tim back into the little cage, Jason swaggers into the boom tube victoriously. If he bumps Kon a little harder than necessary on his way out while grabbing the bird seed, well, the guy’s a goddamn _Kryptonian_ , he was lucky Jason didn’t pull out the fucking Kryptonite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you guys enjoyed! Leave a message and kudos, they make my day ^^
> 
> (Smooch a robin for good luck, especially if it's a Tim-robin. <3) Also, go Donna for being awesome :D
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](http://rivetingfabrications.tumblr.com/) for random dc-related (sometimes nsfw) stuff :D


	7. In the Looking Glass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm really tired but this was requested so who was I to refuse? Also wanted to write something since i'm done with finals so fck yeah! :D  
> Also where on earth am i taking this story? I have no idea xD

“What’s wrong?” Jason’s brows furrowed in consternation as he gently tapped the bars of the cage, elbows resting on the table. “C’mon, pretty bird,” he said softly. “You gotta eat. Please?” Tim huddled in the corner of the perch farthest away from Jason, feathers plumped up and head tucked in towards his chest.

“Are you sick?” Jason gnawed his lip, tasted blood where he had worried at it the whole day. “C’mon, Timbo. I even bought you goddamn mealworms. They’re fucking expensive too, birdie.” Jason sighed, closing his eyes and resting his head in his crossed arms, glancing sideways up towards the cage. “You don’t have to eat them, but they’d probably taste good to you. Do you not like the bird seed? I knew the fucking clone was good for nothing.” Jason scrubbed at his face, took out one of his burner phones to look up what was in a fucking bird diet.

“Ok. Fuck. Robins like insects. But you don’t even like stupid mealworms. Oh, sunflower seeds.” Jason huffed, stuffing the phone back. “I can get that, kid. Wait, there’s some in your food already. Fuck.” Jason groaned and rolled his face back into the nest he had made with his arms. The robin cocked his head to the side, watching him cautiously but not moving.

“Should I give you back to the Titans? To Alfred? Actually, no – the demon brat might try and sic Alfred-cat on you.” Jason scrubbed at his eyes. “Are you cold? Is that why you’re so fucking floofed up?” When he looked up, Tim was still all too quiet.

“Babybird,” he sighed. “So I’m kind of out of my usual comfort zone here. But seriously, eat something. B’ll have my head if you die on my watch.” He sighed, pushing a hand through the cage door, willing Tim to hop onto his fingers. Instead, the tiny robin cringed away, shuffling along the length of the perch.

“Dammit,” huffed Jason, retracting his spurned hand. “C’mon, babe – you _picked_ me,” he pleaded a little, because apparently he wasn’t above that.

“And I thought you were a complicated little shit as a human,” he sighed, leaning back in his chair. He didn’t like seeing Tim so miserable – so fucking _lonely_.

“Maybe you don’t like the cage?” he offered. He glanced around his safe house – it wasn’t exactly ideal conditions – but maybe a little freedom would perk Tim back up. After all, robins were meant to be able to _fly_. Hell, _he_ knew that. Out of any other ideas, Jason went around the house, checking that the windows were closed and the security systems up and running – made sure the rooms were unlikely to accidentally kill a bird that had no idea what the hell it was doing. As an afterthought, he closed the toilet seat – he didn’t need any fucking drowned robins (he was already the blown-up one for the count.) Hesitantly he made his way back to the cage and opened the door – and the tiny robin just fucking sat there.

“So uh, fly away, little birdie?” Jason tapped the bars experimentally, but only succeeded in terrifying the bird even more as it hunched in on itself, shuffling away from him and rearranging its feathers. “Fine, ok. In your own time, then.” Jason huffed, grabbing some of his guns and making his way into the bedroom. “I’ll be cleaning my guns if you need anything,” he called as an afterthought. "Chirp. Squawk, or whatever it is you do."

~*~*~*~

It was – relaxing, to say the least, to tenderly disassemble each piece, cleaning the odds and ends of various mechanisms of each of his weapons of choice. They were sleek, dented from old battles in ways that caught the room light – but maintaining them was in itself a quiet ritual as Jason’s cigarette habits. He was so immersed in his work that it took some time for him to realize that there was a soft, distantly muted noise that sounded suspiciously like scratching and pecking.

“Babybird?” he called out, setting the grease-stained cloth down and following the sounds. Jason was gratified to see that the cage was empty, before walking into the bathroom, the source of the noise.

He snorted in disbelief.

“And people say _I’m_ the one that’s the most likely to fight my own reflection,” Jason said wryly, watching as Tim’s talons and beak scraped viciously against the bathroom mirror. “Seems like you’re a pretty damn territorial bird yourself.” Tim chirped viciously, completely ignoring him, talons raking futilely across the glass.

“Fuck. Can you, I don’t know, not shit on my bathroom sink?” Jason scratched his head. “Actually, you know what, whatever. Uh, try not to give yourself a concussion.” He couldn’t help a grin as the bird furiously savaged its reflection. “Maybe you’ll be hungry enough to actually eat after all this.” He smirked and grabbed his burner phone.

“I’m probably going to need a copy to prove this actually fucking happened.” Jason cackled, tapping the camera icon as Tim flew at his reflection, wings beating in the air as he flew all about the bathroom. He distantly considered messaging Babs or Alfred for something to cover the mirror, but decided it could wait as Tim fluffed his feathers in exasperation and flew at his imaginary opponent in the glass once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it was short, but hopefully it was enjoyable? Wrote it really fast and now excuse me while i go collapse in bed >tumblr it's nsfw, fair warning lol but plenty of batboys to be found :P


	8. Spray

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took longer to get out this chapter than it should have >

“Fuck!” Jason slammed the laptop screen down vehemently, shooting upwards from his chair. He promptly shouted in pain as his knees hit the underside of the table, falling back into the chair with a loud thud.

“Damn, Little Wing, so this is what you do in your spare time.” Dick’s hundred-watt grin was almost manic, and Jason’s ears turned crimson, knowing that Dick was going to give him hell for the next month for the fucking bird videos he’d been watching. Shit, he hadn’t even heard the security alarms go off, as engrossed as he had been in some dude letting his parrot eat from his mouth.

“I needed a fucking reference, okay?” snarled Jason, feeling his cheeks heat up. “And why the fuck did you bring this guy to my damn safe house?” He gestured wildly at the green robin perched on Dick’s shoulder.

“Chill, Jason.” Dick held his palms up placatingly. “We figured bringing Gar might help with Tim’s predicament. You told us he was acting weird, remember?”

“You could have at least warned me,” huffed Jason. “Or I could have just brought Tim to the manor.”

“Right.” Dick’s voice was disbelieving to say the least, and all right, Jason could privately admit that he probably would have made up some excuse to stay as far away from Bruce as possible. Gar chirped at him, but it wasn’t a particularly nice one, so Jason figured he hadn’t quite been forgiven when he knocked him out back when he had a vendetta against Tim during his time with the Titans, even if that had been forever ago. Not that he gave any fucks; his own stint with the team was short-lived and he didn’t exactly make many lasting ties from it. Still, Gar was Tim’s friend, and the green bird fluttered over to the upside down helmet Tim had decided to nest in, chirping excitedly.

Dick glanced knowingly at Jason. “You let him nest in your helmet?”

Jason shrugged. “He wanted to. Not my only helmet anyway. He was fucking miserable in the cage, Dick. Wouldn’t eat anything. Decided to scratch all the damn paint off though.” It was true; the reflective surface of the varnish had lured Tim over to make it his personal goal in life to chip away at the surface until it was scored with dozens of tiny talon marks. Jason had sighed then, taking out the electronics so that it was bird-proof. As they spoke, Tim’s head popped out from the plush of Jason’s hood that was now lined with little scraps of fabrics, cocking his head curiously at Garfield. There was a flurry of exchanged chirps and tweets, both robins chirping almost delightedly, and Jason and Dick just stared at the two birds.

“They’re…really cute,” mumbled Dick, more to himself than anything.

“The baby bird’s cuter. Obviously.”

“That is _not_ the point, Jason.”

“Bite me.” Jason scowled as Tim briefly nuzzled Gar, albeit cautiously, before preening a little and fluffing his wings out in obvious acceptance and approval. Gar flew back over, scratching himself with a talon before changing back, his posture monkey-like in the way he was precariously balanced on the edge of the dining table.

“He’s confused. Doesn’t remember shit.” Gar’s foot which was scratching himself idly, swung back down to hang off the kitchen table. “It’s hard getting any words out from him; like he doesn’t have much sense of self. Can’t do much, sorry. But you were right about one thing, though.”

“Which was?”

“He hates being locked up. Also complaining about mealworms.” Beastboy’s eyes shifted cautiously; both batboys caught it.

“What else?” asked Dick sternly, brooking no hesitation.

“He’skindofterrifiedofhim.” The words rushed out of Gar’s mouth in one breath. His body tensed, as if waiting for Jason to start a fight. “Like, uh, low-key terrified. The helmet makes him feel safe though.”

“Could you tell him I’m not going to hurt him?” asked Jason, a little exasperated but trying to hide the pang of guilt lancing through him.

“Just because I tell him that doesn’t mean he’ll believe it,” huffed Gar, crossing his arms protectively. “But anyway I told him that he has nothing to worry about. That it’s safe here.”

“Thanks for trying, Beastboy,” sighed Dick, carding a frustrated hand through his hair. “We appreciate it.” He glanced at Gar. “Could you give us a moment?”

“Oh. Uh, yeah sure. I’ll meet you back at the Tower.” Gar transformed into a bird, chirped something at Tim, and then flew out the room before Dick closed the door.

“What?” Jason crossed his arms.

“Look…it’s not my place to pry, but you’re not…pressuring him to try and remember stuff right?” Dick glanced warily down at the closed laptop. “Trying to train him to eat out of your mouth is probably not going to count as a kiss.”

“I was fucking _bored_ , moron.” Jason growled deep in his chest.

“Right. Look, just…take care of him, okay?” Dick scrubbed at his face. “He’s my brother too, you know.”

“I know.” Jason exhaled heavily. “I will.”

 “Does he try and escape when you open the windows?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t well, risked it.” Jason chewed his lip.

“I’ll let Z know.”

With a last, final nod at him and a glance at Tim, Dick opened the room door, exiting.

Jason glanced down at the helmet, and dark eyes stared back at him curiously.

“Can you understand me?” The bird tilted his head, considering Jason.

“Do you even know who I am?” asked Jason tiredly, as if he didn’t already know the answer to that question.

The bird chirped curiously once more, then hunkered back down once more in the helmet.

“Guess that’s a no.”

~*~*~*~

For all that Tim was supposedly terrified of Jason, the sound of the tap running quickly attracted him. The tiny bird perched atop a fruit bowl, watching avidly as Jason rinsed apples in the sink. Jason hummed tunelessly, carefully keeping the robin in his line of sight.

It was odd, a bit like having a jittery roommate who never spoke. Exhaling, Jason thought back to when he’d last seen Tim properly human, properly _happy_.

Fuck, he made Tim happier as a goddamn _cat_. Or at least, well, more openly happy. He still remembered Tim’s exasperated, fond smiles even when he’d nip his fingers, his teasing remarks when he’d curl in his lap or nuzzle the hem of his pants. The thought had him wanting to tear his hair out. When he sighed once again, the bird canted his head and chirped inquisitively at him, flying over to the tap.

“What, you want a shower?” Jason set the apples to the side, stepping back and grabbing the sink grate to slide under. The robin fluttered away defensively at the sound of it, allowing Jason to turn down the spray to a more manageable level. Backing off, Jason started cutting up the apples into smaller slices, waiting for Tim to hop under the spray. Tim watched him guardedly, before fluttering down into the sink and dipping his head under the spray. Jason let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

Soon Tim was chirping happily, hopping in and out of the water stream. Jason snorted a little at the way Tim appeared skinnier, feathers clinging to his tiny body and dripping everywhere. Absentmindedly, he bit into an apple slice, watching as Tim shook his head under the spray, drinking and then preening his damp feathers.

“Pretty bird,” murmured Jason absently. “How the fuck am I gonna dry you after this?” He sighed, shaking his head as Tim seemed to decide he had had enough and then flew up to the counter, shaking out his wings and spraying stray droplets everywhere.

“Never mind, you seem to have this under control.” Jason finished the last of his apple, swallowing. Grabbing another slice, he offered one to Tim. The robin gave him the biggest stink-eye Jason had ever been on the receiving end of (and that was saying a lot) before flying over to the bowl Jason had set aside, pecking curiously at the left out pieces.

“Well,” grumbled Jason, “it’s a start.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews and kudos are always appreciated <3


	9. The Traumatizing Days of Timothy Drake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to Pikachunicorn (hopefully i spelled that right) for her birthday! Also I was missing kitty jay like hell so I decided to write more of him XD Everything below is a flashback to before Timmers got turned into a robin lol.

Tim flopped his face into the pile of clean laundry that smelled incredible after Alfred had stopped by to run damage control on his apartment, groaning at the heavenly smell in relief. A startled yowl greeted him, and he jerked his head back in alarm as the clothes started wriggling.

“Jason,” he scolded half-heartedly. “Those are _clean_.” A furry head poked out of a sleeve, mewling happily. Tim flicked his nose, grinning a bit as the kitten started squirming in annoyance. The motions rocked the basket, and Jason yelped as the basket nearly tipped over if it had not been for Tim catching it in time.

“If you spill these on the floor I won’t forgive you,” Tim huffed, scooping out the bundle of clothes and depositing them on the bed. Jason tumbled out, hissing a bit when Tim tried to grab a pair of socks and batted Tim’s hand away with a paw.

“Jay, I need to fold them.” Timothy frowned at the recalcitrant kitten. Jason ignored him as per usual, flopping onto his back and snuggling against an old Superboy shirt. Sighing, Tim sat on the mattress as well, absentmindedly scratching the cat’s exposed stomach.

“The next time you shed all over my Red Robin suit, you don’t get any more belly rubs.”

Jason made a small disbelieving noise. If he were honest, Tim didn’t believe himself either.

~*~*~*~*~

“Jason!” growled Tim, wringing his hands. The stuffing was falling out of the couch, claw scratches scored vertically down the sides, and Jason had smashed the potted plant onto the ground that Tam had given him that once rested on the counter. “Why can’t you just behave for once?”

Jason had the decency to look somewhat abashed, but then sauntered off, tail waving imperiously in the air.

“Don’t wave that tail at me, mister,” growled Tim, scooping up the cat for a second, before Jason squirmed out of his grasp, spinning around and hissing threateningly. Tim threw up his hands and walked off, and Jason huffed and sat back, licking his paws. He heard Tim rummaging around somewhere, then the sound of a tap running. He continued washing himself, purring as he stretched languidly.

Then a spurt of water hit him in the eyes. Affronted, Jason scrambled back, blinking rapidly as droplets clung to his whiskers.

“Bad Jason.” Tim brandished a squirt bottle at him. “Very bad.”

Well, this meant war. Jason scrambled away for refuge under the wrecked couch, plotting Tim’s untimely demise. Hell, maybe even he’d hack some hairballs into his coffee later.

~*~*~*~*~

It wasn’t exactly that Jason had a problem with Tim changing, but he found it weird that Tim was comfortable enough with his presence that he was fine with Jason still being in the room. Though, he supposed, it would have been the same as changing in front of any common house pet to Tim. As it was, the pile of laundry was still incredibly comfortable, and he didn’t feel like moving either.

“You’ve been staring at me without blinking. Quit it. It’s creepy.” Jason’s ears pricked a little, then purred as Tim stroked the fur between his ears. “If you want a head scratch can’t you find a better way of asking?”

 _Well._ Jason just twitched his whiskers at him, crooning as Tim managed to find just the right spot that had him wriggling and mewling for more. It hadn’t been his original intention, but he couldn’t deny it was an excellent benefit for being as weirdly creepy in an adorable cat way until he got what he wanted.

~*~*~*~*~

Tim tripped over the cat that had oh so innocently slipped between his legs as he stumbled towards the coffee machine that was his lifeblood and honestly the only thing that allowed him to function as a vaguely normal human being. Jason yowled at him, but by this point Tim could differentiate between an actual pained yowl and an I’m-being-a-little-shit yowl, thereby electing to grope blindly for the nearest mug. While it was emblazoned with KEEP CALM I’M A POLICE OFFICER (courtesy of Dick’s day job, of course), presently Tim did not give a damn. He slumped forward on the counter, making no effort to hide or restrain the huge yawn that rolled from his mouth. He heard claws clacking onto the counter, cracked his eyes open to watch as Jason strolled over to him at chest level, nosing curiously at his bathrobe.

“Jason, no, I know you’re going to shed on it,” grumbled Tim. He tried to shoo him away, but Jason meowed at him and rubbed his face against the plush fabric.

“You’re awfully chirpy for a cat,” murmured Tim, fondly stroking his fur. The coffee maker was starting to boil merrily. Jason turned around so that his butt faced Tim, tail in the air and waving arrogantly.

“Is this your way of trying to assert your dominance?” grunted Tim, letting his head rest on an elbow as he rolled his eyes. “It’s not working.” The coffee maker tapered to a stop, and Tim reached to put Dick’s mug under the spout when Jason slinked over, snuggling up to the machine and mewling happily. Tim’s gaze softened, and a small smile played along his lips.

“You’re really unfair, you know,” he murmured, letting Jason nibble on his fingers as the machine gurgled happily, pouring its contents into the cup. Tim sighed as he took a sip from the steaming mug, feeling the caffeine hitting his bloodstream. Jason meowed and bit his finger roughly.

“Bite me, all the other mugs are dirty – Ow! I meant it figuratively!”

~*~*~

Tim barreled forward in desperation, shouting incoherently as Dick laughed merrily, holding the dangling packet of catnip like it wasn’t a bomb waiting to be detonated.

“Relax, Tim! I figured since you’ve been complaining so much maybe the catnip could be like a peace offering – shit! As Tim launched over the sofa at him, he stumbled backwards and against the coffee table. He managed to right his balance, but not before Tim managed to get a good hold on the offending bag of catnip.

“Give it to me, Dick! You don’t know what you’re doing –” The bag burst under the pressure of the two fully grown men wrestling for it, its contents scattering like confetti over the couch and on Dick and the table.

“Fuck.” Tim scrambled helplessly to try and scoop as much of it as he could with his hands, but it was too late. He saw a blur of black and white fur speeding over the carpet, launching itself into one of the larger piles of catnip, namely on Dick’s chest. Dick groaned as Jason stared into his face, before Tim threw his hands into the air with frustration.

“You are going to pay for this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to pikachunicorn for always faithfully reviewing this and some of my other fics (it means so much, so this is just a small thank you ^^ and also for giving me the coffee maker idea) Sorry it's all so short, it was very quickly written XD
> 
> Reviews and kudos are always appreciated <3


	10. Plushies and Peanuts

“C’mon,” mumbled Jason, carefully extending his hand. A trail of assorted seeds led to his open palm, which contained peanuts. He waited expectantly as the robin watched him suspiciously. “I know you haven’t eaten anything today, you picky booger,” coaxes Jason, and Tim cocks his head in confusion at him.

“You could say something, you know,” huffs Jason. “It’s getting really stupid talking to myself. At least Titus slobbers over me when I call him a good boy.” He waits patiently until Tim flies down from where he had been perched on the dining room chair, soaring to rest at the farthest point of the trail away from Jason. With bated breath, Jason watches as Tim’s beak prods warily at the seeds, his head always jerking up to stare distrustfully at Jason. Jason remains as still as possible as Tim slowly makes his way down the trail, leaving behind remnant seed husks in his wake.

When there are no more seeds left save for the shelled peanuts in Jason’s upturned palm, Tim ruffles his feathers, preening himself while side eyeing the peanuts in a way that uncannily reminds Jason of Bruce’s paranoia.

“You’re a distrustful one, aren’t you, babybird?” murmurs Jason softly, and Tim looks up at him almost calculatingly.

Jason’s all too used to having to remain immovable for long periods of time on stakeouts and missions, but it’s hard to bite back a laugh when Tim cranes his head to nose at the nearest peanut within his reach, only to push the nut further away from him.

Barely daring to breathe, Jason watches as Tim nibbles in frustration on another near peanut before one of Tim’s feet latch on to Jason’s thumb, testing its weight warily. Tim manages to lean forward, rolling a peanut close enough for him to eat it, the nut crunching and leaving fragments on Jason’s palm lines. After he was done, Tim glanced up at Jason cautiously, tilting his head and chirping questioningly.

“Promise I won’t hurt you, babybird,” hums Jason, his hand trembling slightly from how still he was trying to hold it. Tim glances back down at the peanuts, before hopping up, perching fully in the cusp of Jason’s palm, greedily attacking the peanuts. Jason’s breath catches; he swallows as the fluff of Tim’s feathers and his crimson breast brushes gently against his skin, soft and warm and delicate. Tim eats quickly, hurriedly, leaving fine fragments and detritus behind until all the peanuts are gone.

He glances up at Jason, chirruping and cocking his head. A small fondness tugs at Jason’s chest.

“Are we on the same page then?” he asks slowly, and then Tim leans over, and Jason stifles a pained hiss as Tim viciously bites his thumb. “Ok, maybe not,” he mutters, grimacing as Tim continues gnawing on him. “Quit it, I’m not a peanut.” He gingerly deposits Tim back onto the table; Tim’s wings flutters to stabilize him. Then he’s flying off to his little nest in Jason’s helmet, squirming around until he’s comfortably situated. By this point the red reflective paint has mostly been scratched off by Tim savaging his own reflection, and Jason rolls his eyes as Tim finds the apple slices Jason left for him in there.

“And all the things I do for you,” he mumbles.

“Please, like you’re a paragon of generosity.” Jason resists the instinctual urge to flinch and turn around, instead choosing to huff and roll his shoulders.

“Nice to see you too, demon brat. You couldn’t have used the doorbell?”

“You’re losing your edge, Todd.” Damian scoffs and marches past him. “Your security systems are pathetic.”

“Why’re you here anyway?” Jason folds his arms. “Pretty sure this isn’t a social visit.”

Damian’s scowl darkens. “Pennyworth wanted me to give you and Drake this.” He brandishes a clear box with an assorted collection of bird toys and a sheaf of papers lining the box.

“What the hell are these?” mutters Jason, accepting the box from Damian and opening it, peering through the contents. “Are these – are these his old homework papers? From _high school_?”

Damian sneers. “Pennyworth was doing some spring cleaning and discovered these at the top of Grayson’s closet. They both thought that perhaps you could use them to line Drake’s cage –” He stops short, staring at where Tim peeks out of his nest, hopping forward to assess Damian warily.

“Tch. You’re all right letting an insipid bird roam about your house when he might accidentally escape?”

Jason shrugs. “I keep all the windows shut.”

“As did Drake when you decided to crawl out of his apartment as a cat, nearly getting yourself killed,” drawls Damian.

Jason flushes slightly. “That’s different. Anyway,” he pulls out a stuffed animal of a robin, “the hell’s this?”

“Oh.” Damian huffs. “Basically, a test drive. Grayson’s idea.”

“What?”

“Hold still.” Damian swipes the plush toy, standing on his tip toes to position the toy on Jason’s head. Jason tries to duck away, frowning at him.

“What are you doing –”

“Quit moving, you’ll thank Grayson for this later,” snaps Damian, losing his patience, and Jason stares at him like he’s gone mad, permitting Damian to perch the toy on his head.

“Is there a bomb in it?”

“ _Shut up_ , you imbecile.” Damian looks like he’s about to say more, but then there’s a loud, abrupt chirp. Jason carefully looks down at the helmet where Tim’s perched on the edge of it, feathers are all ruffled and fluffed up, tweeting loudly.

“Um,” says Jason slowly, and Damian shakes his head like he can’t believe just how idiotic he is.

“Grayson seems to think that if Drake gets territorial over it, he will start associating you as ‘his territory.’ Which, frankly, is just the sort of plan _he_ would come up with.”

“Ohhh.”

Damian mutters something that even Jason’s sharp ears don’t quite catch, but he can guess its intended meaning. “Forget it. You two deserve each other.” He stalks out of Jason’s kitchen.

“Hey, wait, where are you going?” calls Jason over Tim’s frustrated chirps, but Damian sneers at him and vanishes from sight, so Jason imagines that he’s probably letting himself out the way he came.

“Well,” he mutters distractedly, returning his attention to the robin still squawking at the inanimate bird starting to slip off his hair, “let’s hope Dickie’s on to something.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been really frustrated with the dc ship discourse that's been happening on tumblr, you know the drill, and honestly it was really hard to write this chapter with it flaring up again. So I hope you enjoyed, sorry for the long hiatus, and hopefully you liked it enough to leave a kudos or a comment :')
> 
> but yeah, you can find me on tumblr by the same username, though it gets randomly nsfw on my blog sometimes.
> 
> On another note, this chapter is dedicated to both etroveria and nanihoo for creating fanart of this story! Like how amazing is that???
> 
> http://rivetingfabrications.tumblr.com/post/150744883710/infectedscrew-nanihoosartblog
> 
> http://rivetingfabrications.tumblr.com/post/148795922805/etroveria-ive-recently-just-reread-playing


	11. Zatanna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gosh, I'm so sorry for not updating until now! *bows apologetically

Jason groans, stirring awake as he ineffectually flaps his hand in the vague direction of whatever is tugging at his hair. It’s a rare, lazy Sunday morning, and he huffs as he rolls over and buries his face into the pillows. 

“Gerroff,” he grumbles, but Tim’s bright chirrup is persistent as the robin’s weight lands on the back of Jason’s skull, perching. The tugging starts again, and Jason’s anguished grunt does nothing to stop it.

“Go nibble on that stuffed toy you already destroyed -  _ ow _ !” Jason hisses as sharp pain lances through him when Tim happily rips out a small tuft of his hair. He sits up right, feeling Tim flutter abruptly off and the beating of his wings before he rights himself on Jason’s mattress, short strands of black hair held in his beak.

“You’re a disaster,” Jason informs him, rubbing his tender scalp, but Tim only shakes out his feathers, looking at him expectantly. Groaning, Jason flops back on the bed as he watches Tim fly off, disappearing into the makeshift nest of Jason’s former helmet.

“You’re so fucking weird,” Jason says to no one in particular. “I’m pretty sure robins don’t steal hair from humans for nests. Assuming that’s what you’re doing.” He rolls over, glaring at Tim when the bird flies back out again to perch on the edge of Jason’s bed, watching Jason beadily.

“You’ve gotten a lot braver, haven’t you?” mutters Jason fondly, and hesitantly he extends his hand out, palms up across the mattress. Tim cocks his head like it’s a particularly bewildering trap, and Jason hums and closes his eyes lazily, submerging himself in the easy relaxation of for once having only a few cases to work on.

He doesn’t expect the soft scratch of Tim’s talons and the gentle weight of his feathers tickling the calloused bumps of his palm. Eyes flickering open, Jason assesses the bright plumage of Tim’s breast, the way Tim chirrups hesitantly at him before pecking at the lifeline of his palm.

He indulges in the odd feeling of having something so tiny  _ trusting  _ him, Tim preening himself though he still glances warily at Jason’s serene expression every so often. The blinds that Jason had forgotten to close the night before permit light to seep into the bedroom in lazy sunbeams, and Jason is struck by the simplicity of it all. Humming tunelessly, he idly closes his eyes once more as Tim scratches a spot in his neck that he can’t reach using Jason’s outstretched but unmoving thumb as a makeshift scratching post.

He’s not sure if Tim is singing along or chirping avidly in response to whatever Jason is humming, tiny feathered head bobbing in time to the half-fledged rhythm, but he likes it.

~*~*~*~*~

Scrambled eggs and bacon is followed by Jason trying to coax Tim to eat sunflower seeds out of his hand with limited success when there’s a knock on his door. Strange, considering he doesn’t typically get visitors, but he has a feeling he already knows who it is.

“Kinda rare for vigilantes to knock before entering,” he remarks dryly as he unlatches the door. “Nice that you’re not coming through my windows...but seriously, could you guys at least try to not pretend like you know where all my safehouses are?” he scowls, glaring at his visitors.

“Be nice, Jason,” scolds Dick. “Everyone came out to see Tim.”

“Obviously. Hi, Z,” he offers wryly, purposefully ignoring Conner.

“Hi yourself,” Zatanna says wryly, but she does offer him a smile. A green parrot lands and perches onto Conner’s shoulder before preening itself.

“How’s Tim?” Garfield asks, opening his beak as Conner offers him a peanut, the shell cracking open easily.

“No change,” admits Jason. “I had to cover the bathroom mirror so that he’d stop fighting his damn reflection. I’m guessing you guys found a way to change him back?”

“We think so, at least,” says Dick. “We did track down Klarion, but by the time we got to the scene he disappeared.”

"Just wait until I get my hands on him,” mutters Jason, but he steps aside to let everyone file in.

“Where is Tim, by the way?” asks Conner, looking around. Jason shrugs. 

“I just let him fly around. He hasn’t caused too much trouble so far, at least.”

“That’s good. So,” says Dick, his expression sly, “did the plushie toy help?”

“If by help you mean Tim ripped out the stuffing to line his nest, yeah, it helped fantastically.”

“Right,” coughs Zatanna, and Jason knows now it’s not just simply a social call to check on Tim now that she’s getting straight to business. “So, I’ve been practicing the spell, and I think I’ve got it. I’m guessing you guys have had enough of being turned into random animals, so hopefully we can put a stop to this.”

“Go right ahead.” The sooner he can get Superboy out of his safehouse and away from cooing at Tim, the better.

“Could you hold him, please?” Zatanna nods at Tim, and Jason shrugs, extending a hand out to where Conner’s stroking just beneath Tim’s neck.

“Time for you to hop on, birdie,” hums Conner, and he carefully deposits Tim onto Jason’s open palm.

“Why does he never listen to me like that?” mutters Jason sulkily, but everyone ignores him.

“Alright, Superboy, Nightwing, please stand back,” commands Zatanna, and she slides her hands carefully under Jason’s cupped palms, their skin touching. Tim pecks her gloves curiously, nibbling them curiously.

“Ready whenever you are.”

“Better do it before he flies off.” At his nod, Zatanna inhales deeply, releasing it as she closes her eyes to concentrate.

“ _ Nruter ot ruoy lanigiro setats _ !” 

There’s a blinding burst of light, and Jason squeezes his eyes shut involuntarily. Yet he can feel his body changing, and he wants to open his mouth, to call out that  _ no, the spell’s not working,  _ stop  _ it, _ but a heated blast of magical energy engulfs him, cutting off his breath and his words.

When the energy has died down, as Jason expects, he’s eye level to Zatanna’s shoes.

“No!” Zatanna all but shouts, confused and distressed. “But...I know I said it right, what happened?”

He looks up, seeing Dick and the rest staring down at him in complete bewilderment, and he huffs and paws his face, annoyed once more at the whiskers adoring his face once again.

Tim flutters down to him, and he’s confused, because if he changed then Tim should surely have done so as well - Involuntarily, he feels himself slinking into a crouch, eyes tracking Tim’s every movement as Tim regards him warily. 

He springs, and the rational part of his brain that’s now taking up only a very tiny portion of his consciousness hears Dick shouting “ _ No _ !” and strong hands catching him easily in mid-spring. He yowls, claws sliding out as he swipes angrily at the bare knuckles but they don’t even break skin.

“No!” Conner sets him down and flicks his nose. Jason flinches back, perturbed at the abrupt treatment. “No eating Tim, Jason. Bad kitty.”

“Z, do you know what happened?” Dick scratches his head in confusion. Tim flies up to settle atop Conner’s head, and Jason hisses at him.

Zatanna recovers from her failure, brows knitting together as she surveys Jason and Tim.

“Either way, it’s not good. It’s a high level spell that I can’t break. We might need to call in Doctor Fate. And this means Klarion somehow got hold of much higher level demon magic than we considered.

“But to use it on transforming them into...domestic pets?” Conner squints at Jason. “I don’t know about this.”

“We’ll need to look deeper into this,” Dick says decisively. “In the meantime...we can’t have Jay trying to eat Tim.”

“I can look after Tim?” volunteers Conner, and Jason feels his fur prickling as he hisses at Conner again. It’s a conscious effort to retract his claws, though aided by the fact that they’re useless on a Kryptonian.

“Sounds good. And you, Jason, are coming with me.” Dick grins at Jason. “And yeah, I know you’re in there, so don’t even bother trying to fake it.”

Dammit. Jason huffs and whirls around, tail in the air as he prances off, pretending like he didn’t hear Dick. Let Dickiebird keep calling the shots, the amount of petty annoyances Jason had heaped upon Tim was only the  _ tip  _ of the iceberg for the countless schemes he knew he could inflict on Dick. He wanders off into the kitchen, already planning his next strategy of How-To-Annoy-The-Golden-Child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews and comments make my day and let me know if a story is worth continuing :) I always love knowing what people like or what they want to see more of!


	12. The Asshole Cat from Hell

“ _Jason Todd, get your sorry tail here or there will be hell to pay_.” Oh, Dick was pissed, and the storm of his shoes stamping across the floor filled Jason with an unnatural manic glee even as he darted silently through Dick’s narrow Bludhaven apartment. He bounded over piles of dirty laundry and dashed into the depths of Dick’s closet, crouching behind the largely empty laundry hamper.

Oh, there would certainly be hell to pay, but it would be so worth it. He heard Dick storm into the kitchen, opening and slamming cupboards and drawers in his irritated search.

“Jason, I have work soon! What the actual hell? You ripped my goddamn police shirt, that’s my only clean one left –” The noise of Dick tripping over the cat food bowl and cursing was music to Jason’s feline ears. He appreciatively cleaned his paws, crouching low in the darkness of the closet.

Irritating Tim? Priceless. Irritating Dick? Worth its weight in comedy gold. Jason scrunched his nose in distaste, shaking his head to clear it. His mind sometimes felt foggy, just enough to sometimes throw him off. It probably should have worried him more, but leaving little gifts of dead rodents in Dick’s bed was always enough to chase away the feeling that he was missing something. Dick should be thanking him; Jason was an _excellent_ mouser, all vigilante instinct and feline claws –

Fuck, he was sounding like Catwoman. Jason scowled to himself, daintily cleaning his whiskers as he tried to remember _who_ exactly Catwoman was. Right. Selina. Jason yawned. He wanted to see Tim – but a bit of his rational judgement still remained. In the beginning, Jason had kicked up a fuss, but he remembered pouncing at the frantic robin. Dick and Conner hadn’t really picked up on it, but Jason knew he wasn’t entirely in control of himself, and that worried him enough to snap him out of his haze. He hadn’t even _had_ any catnip, and that in and of itself was worrying.

Tim. Jason wondered briefly if his lapses in memory were related to Tim’s bird amnesia. He had to let Dick know, somehow. He huffed and wandered out of the closet, tail waving in the air. Leaving the bedroom, he could see Dick searching angrily for him in the bathroom from across the hall. Yet before he resigned himself to face Dick, he spied an irresistible opportunity just resting innocently on the dinner table.

Two minutes, Jason told himself as he made a detour. He leaped nimbly onto the chair, the chair squeaking a little. Dick immediately picked up on the noise, and Jason heard him storm in just as Jason made it on to the table.

“Jason, you ass –” Dick stopped short at the sight of Jason, immediately recognizing his devious scheme. “No.” He scolded, glaring as if his anger alone would pacify Jason. “Bad kitty. Jason, don’t do it.”

Jason’s paw inched closer to the bowl of cereal.

“Jason.” Dick’s voice dropped into the lower octaves of Nightwing. “You don’t want to do this.”

Jason’s tail twitched. He most certainly did. Whether it was the pleased wave of his tail or the mischievous glint in his eyes, Dick spoke up again, all Batman in his threatening growl.

“ _Jason_ ,” he snarled. And maybe Jason would have been willing to relent just moments before, but once _that_ tone was used? Oh, it was _on_. The bowl shattered against the floor, spilling milk and cereal and fragments everywhere.

“That is _it_ ,” snapped Dick. He moved faster than Jason’s kitten legs could scramble away, scooping Jason up by the scruff. Jason hissed, wriggling uselessly as Dick dragged him off the table. “Suddenly I feel sorry for Tim, what the hell Jason. Tim is a goddamn _saint_ to put up with you.”

Jason yowled as he was wrestled into a pet carrier. The door shut with a clang. It was a carrier originally meant for Titus so Jason had ample room, but he butted the door with his head, ears flattened in irritation. The carrier smelled largely of dog, and it made Jason somewhat uncomfortable.

“Behave yourself.” Dick flicked the bars. Jason hissed, pawing uselessly at the bars. Dick huffed as Jason glared at him menacingly. Stooping up from his knees from where he had crouched to peer sternly into Jason’s prison, Dick disappeared from Jason’s view until Jason could only see his shoes. The roof of the carrier rattled, and Jason scrabbled for balance. His claws clicked against the plastic as the carrier was set on the table. Dick’s face reappeared, frowning at him at face level once more.

“So, what have we learned, Jay?”

Dammit. Jason scowled as he turned away from the cage door and started cleaning his paws again, ignoring Dick. Dick cursed him out again, and Jason heard him dialing someone. He continued to ignore Dick.

“Hey, Alfred? It’s me, Dick. Look, I’m going to be out all day, I can’t take care of Jason today, he tore up the entire apartment, I’m not even kidding. I can’t even bring people over –“ Dick coughs, suddenly sounding embarrassed. “Yes, I _know_ , it was already messy, but it’s exceptionally bad now.” Jason purrs happily at that. He cranes his neck around; Dick shoots him a nasty smile.

“Really? You can do that? You guys are a godsend. Thank _god_. Do you want me to leave the keys under the mat – no? Okay. Thanks, I gotta run, I’m already late. You’re the best, Alfred.” Dick tucks his phone back into the pocket.

“Damian will be here in a bit to pick you up – you’re going to stay in the manor until I can get this place into a minimally livable state again.” Dick grins unkindly.

What. _No_. Jason scrabbles at the carrier bars. Bloody hell, he is not part of the demon brat’s menagerie. Titus is massive; Jason has no desire to be crushed by a huge Great Dane, as awesome as Titus is for fetch and shaking hands. He mewls pitifully at Dick, but he’s having none of it.

“Be good. Shouldn’t take Damian too long to get here, just sit tight.” Dick smirks at him as he tugs on a dirty Bludhaven police shirt.  “Though if you get out of that carrier I’ll be impressed.”

Jason hisses at him, pacing in his cage.

“Oh and by the way?” Dick calls as a parting sally just seconds before the front door slams shut behind him. “Bruce’s called in sick to work today. Maybe you can get some father-son bonding time in.”

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed! Sorry for the long wait, writing my jaytim space and pirate aus have swallowed my life amongst other things :'D

**Author's Note:**

> Will be continued eventually. Leave a message or kudos, I appreciate all of you for reading this <3 Feedback always inspires me to write :)


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